Why 2018 was my year of rest and rediscovery.

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I hope you guys have had a really great year. Of course, each year comes with it’s ups and downs, bumps and bruises, but that’s all part of life, right? Overall, no matter what you’ve been through this year, I hope you would sum it up as a good year.

2017 was probably the worst year of my life because my mom died. It took me most of 2018 to process it and get back in the game. This year was my year of rest and rediscovery. Let me explain.

I never shared this publicity, but I got laid off at the end of 2017. Please don’t feel bad for me! I was ready to leave my job and had already written my letter of resignation. But God stepped in and I got laid off before I could quit. I got let go and received really nice severance package. Whoop! Whoop! That man above, he makes no mistakes!

When I got let go, I was still mourning the loss of my mom and simultaneously planning my wedding. The time off could not have come at a better time. Even though mom passed in 2017, I had gone right back to work within 7 days. I thought that staying busy would help me deal with the loss. There was no down time to really feel my feelings and deal with the loss. I was so busy with being busy, I had become numb.

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I spent 2018, trying to find myself. I felt really lost with what I wanted to do with my life. I was still struggling with grief, I was a new wife, but had no sense of who I was anymore as an individual. Part of my identity had been wrapped up in my career. Part of my identity was in being my mother’s daughter. With my career at a Fortune 500 company gone and my mom gone, who the F*** was I?

To keep myself busy during the year, I dabbled in entrepreneurial work. I picked up my camera and started taking pictures again. I absolutely love photography. I cooked more than usual. I prayed a lot. Rested my mind and my body. Had a lot of alone time while my husband was at work and son was at school. I listened to hundreds of hours of Ted Talks on youtube and did lots of soul searching.

Each morning I woke up, I was trying to “find myself”. I kept asking God and the universe to give me a sign. Show me what I am supposed to be doing. But the answer never came. I think that’s because I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing in this season. RESTING.

When December  rolled around, I woke up one day, and finally realized that the resting period was coming to an end. I felt better in my heart and spirit. I had grown spiritually and emotionally. I decided to pivot and change career paths. I finally had a vision for the rest of my life!

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I just got a call for my very first interview of 2019. Like, whattttt?!! See, the man above, he makes no mistakes! I was not ready earlier in the year. It was not the right time. I needed to rest so that I could see clearly and find my way. I needed to go through the rediscovery period.

If you have felt frustrated because you feel stagnant, lost and confused, be STILL. You could be in your season of rest and rediscovery!!

With love,

Nicky!

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